When you can't show up

Ways by Jhene Aiko playing

I can't seem to read a book lately.

If you know me, then you know that's a problem.

My last workout was 4 days ago, but ah I needed the rest Owaadaa.

I'm not gonna give you '5 tips' or any 'How to's'

Si leo...

I'm just gonna write to you.

The world is in motion,

Essie just invited you to her ruracio,

Mike got a new well-paying job and your linkedin timeline is soaked in congratulations about it.

Did you see Phyian's new book?

Oh Tasha just moved out to a new apartment in Loresho.

I hear Sam and her are really in love...

....motion, motion and motion.

Spinning so fast, it makes you sick.

You, who are sat

Stuck

In a pile of mud,

Replying, 'I'm good and you?'

Autopilot on most days.

Numb and distracted

Sleeping way past your goodnight text.

Scrolling

Binging.

Stuck, in your life, a little pile of mud.

Reading quotes

Watching reels

Trying to pull yourself out.

Hey...

Stop.

Stop and...just sit.

Unclench your jaw.

Release your shoulders.

Sit in the mud until you are done with it.

Close your eyes

Close the blinds

Feel the salt on your lips from your over cried* eyes.

and just sit...

No.

Stop waiting for a light...

There is no light.

Not now.

So stop.

It's okay... just sit.

Sit in the mud.

Sit in it.

I was reading; 'The Power of Now'

I can't stand to see it now.

The author talks about happiness and enlightenment.

Blah blah blah.

We are in the mud now Eckhart so hush!

But...

He talks about presence too.

Presence.

I think a part of practicing presence is sitting in your mud until you are done with it.

So sit.

Bask in the darkness,

Until you are full.

Full until you are pregnant.

Pregnant with?

Maybe light...