Daddy....

I squirm in my seat, unlike her...

She looks about 10, a tiny little girl.

Her eyes look to the clouds, confidently, unbothered by the turbulence.

I close my eyes as the plane dances carelessly through the sky.

"You scared?", her dad, seated next to me asks in a smile.

I tell him it's my first time, and yes, I am scared.

He seems to find joy in my fear.

I, on the other hand, can't stop staring at his little girl.

As the plane steadies, I watch her body, how confidently she calls out..."Daddy!"

How easily she demands and asks, fearlessly.

As I, the supposed adult, press onto my seat and swallow hard.

Her daddy initiates some small talk.

I smile nod and reply briefly.

I notice his gray hair growing slowly on his awkwardly shaped head, very dad-like.

He answers all her questions and plays to her child-like demeanor,

I can't help but smile silently.

"Daddy, how does the plane land?"

I listen in as relief seeps in when the airstrip comes into view.

"When everybody gets off the plane, we'll go the cockpit and ask the pilot to show you"

I get excited for her and watch her say; 'Okay'

A calm 'Okay'

'This is basic stuff - okay' 'I'm used to this - okay'

For a brief second, I envy her, not the 10-year-old girl seated next to me...

I envy the future her, graced with a secure attachment style, oblivious to any form of defense mechanism, open-hearted, with the perfect healthy blueprint from Daddy.

My heart aches, in suppressed yearning.

I pack up my bags as we start to alight from the plane.

'Hey, you'll wait for us right?"

I stutter, 'Yeah...uh...sure'

True to his word, his daughter learned to land a plane that day, in the cockpit, thanks to Daddy.

I wasn't sure what he wanted me to wait for, but he was on a Daddy pedestal, he could do

no wrong. And true to my word, I waited at the terminal.

There they were, walking towards me as I prepared to say my goodbye.

'Okay, I'll see you guys later."

'Wait..' he pulls me back.

I smile....adjusting the mighty seat on his Great Daddy pedestal.

'I didn't catch your name.' he asks.

I suddenly notice that his little girl is uncomfortable.

He wants to thank me that's all, for seating next to his daughter, for opening her water bottle, yeah...that's it...of course

I say my name, slightly wary.

"Would you like to go for coffee?"

What is happening?

Surely, he must be a widow!

I ask him, carefully,

'Where is her mom...did she pass?" I whisper the last words.

He laughs and I smile awkwardly.

"No, she works in a different town"

My heart sinks.

Suddenly I see her face, that 10-year-old little girl's face, watching me in what I can only call disgust, or was it a rivalry? With a hint of fear.

"There's a java right here, I can call a cab for us to go" he insists.

Thud!

He falls gloriously from the Daddy pedestal.

The veil comes off and I see it, the lust, the pretense and I feel utterly stupid.

I know what your thinking, 'Do you live under a rock?' 'How naïve could are you?'

You are probably right to think so because this happens every day, it's happened many times before, a married man with kids hitting on me.

Perhaps this one took me by surprise because my eyes were dripped in rose colored, perfect daddy glasses.

Rose colored glasses

"Actually my battery is dying so I better call a cab and get home,"

"Can I at least get your number?" he begs.

I watch the little girl watch me with hooded eyes.

I look at him and step back lest the desperation dripping from him stain my clothes.

"Nice to meet you again," I say calmly and begin to walk away.

I smile at the little girl and say bye.

She doesn't answer...

She has seen this before, many times.

The envy I felt before is now washed over by pity and my heart feels troubled for the future little girl.

I silently appreciate my own daddy, as the taxi driver tells me about the troubles with the rain.